I realize this will open me up for all kinds of ‘Glamping’ shots, but it’s a day that had me in tears laughing so it’s a story that must be told.

During our annual family and friends camping trip the females decided to treat ourselves to a Girl’s Day Out at The Hills Health Ranch.

When “The Hills” opened several years back it was touted as a luxury resort.  None of us thought to check Trip Advisor for current reviews… Mistake #1

As a large group, we called ahead and were advised they could accommodate two groups of 3.  They were pleased to offer the rest of us use of their facilities (pool, hot tub, sauna and workout facilities) for just $10. Excited for a day at a mountain retreat, we headed over.Well, the lobby looks like it was straight out of the Newhart Show, right down to the antlers mounted on the wall. We reluctantly approached the front desk and were instructed to head up the stairs, down a long hall, turn, then turn again and when you enter a room and think you have gone too far, you are in the right place. Okay then, off we headed…. Mistake #2. Up, straight, turn, turn and we finally entered a world of dirty floral chairs, green stained carpet and walls that were marked with drywall filler. We all looked at each other and the jokes started.

After an extended wait, our first group was whisked away. The rest of us headed to the pool. Not wanting to walk back down the halls and lobby in our bathing suites we asked if we could have robes… Mistake #3, it was like we were asking for a space suit!

Back down the hall, turn, turn down stairs and to the lobby where we were reluctantly provided robes.  When we entered the ‘spa’ our laughter returned. Pink tile floors, mouldy showers and plastic curtains, it had all the luxury of a scout camp.

I headed to the hot tub. ..Mistake #4.  It was ice cold with a sign stating it was closed for cleaning. I shook my head but noticed another hot tub across the way. Off I headed only to find it had no water and a closed for maintenance sign!!!  Really? You think they might have mentioned this when we called!  At least we had the sauna. As the 5 of us climbed into that closet we had an hour to kill and plenty of stories to laugh about.

The first 3 returned from their massages with glowing reviews about the quality, but also their own funny stories. One was left for a few minutes while her masseuse hid an Elvis costume.  Another had to wait while her masseuse asked the banquet staff to stop noisily rearranging furniture. Those 3 were our teenage daughters who: 1) had paid for with their own money, & 2) are still modest enough to not want to walk around a hotel in bikinis. They asked for robes…repeat of mistake 3…but were only provided hand sized towels to cover up with.

While the second group was off, the rest of us enjoyed hot showers, electricity and shared stories. It was a fun afternoon full of laughter and memories, but I cannot recommend The Hills Resort at this time. We did issue a complaint and I am pleased to say they knocked 20% off the price of the massage and didn’t charge us for the use of the spa but that does not change my review. In fairness, we are told new owners are planning major renovations. I really hope so because right now it’s at about the quality of a Super 8 motel bathroom.